[Jolene Blalock]

Maxim Interview
Source: October issue of Maxim

Enterprise's creators searched the galaxy to identify the next superior Star Trek life form. Highly illogical, since Jolene Blalock was right here on Earth all along.

Normally, we'd greet the debut of yet another Star Trek series with the same excitement we reserve for sharing a deserted island with a leprous insurance salesman. But the highly anticipated Enterprise (airing Wednesday nights on UPN this fall) has at least a coupe of things making us prepare to be assimilated. For one, it's a prequel, taking place sometime between now and when Captain Kirk first explored strange new extraterrestrial hotties across the cosmos. But more importantly, it's got supernova-hot Jolene Blalock signed on as the pioneering spacecraft's Vulcan second in command. While playing a Vulcan vixen means Jolene has been fitted with the requisite pointy ears to match her incredibly pouty lips, portraying a member of a species famous for suppressing all emotion must be even more alien to her real nature: California-bred Jolene doesn't hesitate to say exactly what's on her mind, and tantalizing tales of her surfer-girl-turned-model-turned-actress vagabond existence would quickly transform Spock into a drooling love slave. So as long as joltin' Jolene felt like putting her shields down, we attempted to mind-meld with her over a long brunch in the middle of a strange, sun-baked world known as Hollywood. And quite frankly, our universe hasn't seemed quite the same ever since.

Are you braced for the inevitable Trekkie worship?
I've heard things, but everyone I meet who's been through this just says, "You have not idea what you're in for." That doesn't help. That just scares me.

Have you had any run-ins with fans yet?
They come out of the woodwork in strange places. I was visiting a friend of mine at the hospital where she works, and when her Trekkie coworkers heard that I was doing Enterprise, they were, like, "We only want the best for you. Don't fear us. We are a kind people." I was sitting there going, "Uh, nice to meet you."

Give us the lowdown on your character T'Pol. We already know about the pointy ears.
She's second in command, a science officer, and since Vulcans have a life span of up to 200 years, she's already 65. So I'm more experienced than everyone on the ship, which is cool. And I'm full Vulcan. Spock was half human. So I'm a superior species.

We couldn't agree more. But really logical is wearing a skintight cat suit in deep space?
They didn't even give my uniform pockets. I have a holster for my gun, but that's it. I guess T'Pol is just so low-maintenance that she doesn't need anything else. She's very feline in her movements, so really, that cat suit works.

Who would win in a showdown, T'Pol or VOYAGER'S shapely alien life form Seven of Nine?
Oh, pshaw - T'Pol! Of course, I have to admit that I never really watched Voyager, so I can't make a comparison. I can say that, judging from the press we've done, a lot of people are asking that question. A hot chick versus a hot chick. I don't know.

Have you had to learn a lot of sci-fi technobabble?
How about, "The residue suggests oxidation and thermal shock effects, Captain. It could be the result of a high-yield particle impact." We get scripts with glossaries and pronunciation guides. God forbid you get on set and not know how to pronounce a strange word, because it can throw you right off.

What's the least logical thing you've done lately?
Trying to have a relationship at the same time as working on this show. It's ridiculous.

What will T'Pol's sex life be like?
One of my favorite Star Trek episodes was when Spock needed to get laid. Once every seven years, Vulcans have to mate, and he sort of went nuts. But we haven't established that for females yet. Maybe it'll be twice every seven years.

We're hoping for twice an episode. How do you play a character who, aside from when she's in heat, doesn't have any emotion?
That's not the way it is at all. T'Pol's got a lot going on - worlds of emotion behind the eyes. She feels everything. She just can't express any of it. The history of Vulcans is that they had to control their emotions to survive, and that's just like me. Because when I'm confronted, I just want to lash out and pounce, like "Bring it on!" So I've learned to just breathe deeply and smile. If I didn't, it would not be pretty.

Who would you love to aim a loaded phaser at?
People who require drama like it's their lifeblood. Even if nothing is wrong, there's got to be something wrong.

What's your home planet?
San Diego. I grew up surfing with my two brothers and sister. My dad was a major surfer, and whichever way we could fit it in, before work or after work, we would hit the beach. Surfing is such an amazing concept. You're taking on Nature with a little stick and saying "I'm gonna ride you!" And a lot of times Nature says, "No you're not!" and crashes you to the bottom.

Does anything about the water scare you?
The ocean I can handle. But lakes freak me out. They're dark, still, and slimy, and there are leeches and stuff at the bottom. God, they give me the creeps.

What kind of kid were you?
I was such a geek. I remember one time I was standing in line behind the popular girl before going into the classroom, and this other popular chick came up and told me to move. I was surprised and just sort of looked at her, and she punched me in the stomach. I just sat there, because, like, what do you do? I ended up dropping out after my freshman year of high school. I was ditching class all the time anyway.

So by then you were a troublemaker.
I was an acidhead and a pot smoker. There was this one time some friends and I were ditching off campus at lunch. We didn't make it back in time, and school officials found us smoking weed in a van around the corner. I was so stoned that when they started taking names I said mine was April June. It didn't even dawn on me that was just two months put together.

How did you get into modeling?
I was 18 and living with my boyfriend, and he cheated on me. I had no place to go, and a friend of mine had given me an agency's card. They sent me traveling all over America. It's a lot for a kid. I wouldn't wish that industry on anyone.

What did you first think, this acting thing is pretty great?
Several years ago. I filmed the Jason and the Argonauts miniseries and came back and did a modeling job. I walked in, they gave me what I was supposed to wear, I struck a pose, and then it was over, and nobody talked to me. Nobody asked, "How are you?" I knew that I was never going to model again.

When did you think, This sex thing is pretty great?
Well, I love when I sort of come to and I'm on the other side of the room, sweaty and breathing heavy, with bottles and ashtrays tipped over everywhere. I'm like, "What just happened? Oh, yeah, I got laid. Gotcha." What I don't like is the...element of surprise. You know, seeing the goods for the first time. I can't just go around pants-checking guys, but it's really important. Check the equipment before you fall in love.

We're available for inspection at any time. Where have you boldly gone where no man has gone before?
I don't know about ever, but since I was a little kid I've liked climbing trees, so even now I go up there and swing my legs and smoke cigarettes and hang out in the trees. It's so peaceful, just to get away from the chaos.

Any particular tree?
There are good and bad climbing trees. Anything that's sort of step by step and has a really nice hanging limb. Sometimes I'll tell someone, "Oh, stop the car! I have to climb that tree."

When do you most enjoy sex?
After a fight. Now, if you have a fight and you don't get the sex, then you're in trouble. 'Cause you do that thing: "I'm packing my bag...I'm picking up my bag..." And if he lets you get to the door, it's over. And you didn't even get your make-up fuck.

Ummm...if you do make up, what should a guy expect from you the morning after?
To not be there. [laughs] I'm up with the sun. I can't just lie there and snooze away. I've got stuff to do.